Drunk Texts
Me: My mom said were going to hell for having pre-marital sex. Girl: WHAT?? Me: I told her we had no plans on getting married so its not pre-marital. Girl: Golden!!
I Hear Yah! () No One Cares ()16
Jonas Brothers Bash
today, my mom started talking to me i told her i wasn't feeling well at all she said lol have fun at school FML!!!
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Sometimes I wonder
The Irony in women loving you for giving them attention ... Too much they think ur a stalker and then they'll use the whole, We're better off as friends
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Sometimes I wonder
sometimes i wonder....is there relly a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and if there is who is the lucky basterd that beat me to it!??!!
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FML
I went to school with this really hot guy he was really sweet,smart,strong,ect. i was head over heals for him i went to school with him for 3yrs. and we hung out all the time when i had to move i was heart broken then 2wks after i had left he messeges me on myspace and telles me he wishes i still lived down the street cus he missed me and he dnt really kno how much i ment to him unlill i was gone!!!!FML
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Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer.. But Chuck Norris never cries...
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Random
Today I discovered that 9-11 really was "an inside job" and that there truly is a "new world order" and that they desire to enslave humanity.
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FML
Today my boyfriend's Mom told me he still lives with his wife and they have never seperated. He told me she moved out over a year ago.
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Drunk Texts
We hadn't talked all day when I got this RANDOM text from a guy I'm in love with and we just has sex for the first time. He was super drunk and said,"I had a girl stick a finger in me once and I enjoyed it. But I'm not into guys."
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FML
Today, I woke up and noticed my son was not in his bedroom. Thinking he had ran away, I reported him missing and called all my relatives. After 3 hours, my son walked in the door. He was at his friends house where I dropped him off last night. My 14 year old told me to lay off the vodka.
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FML
Today, my boyfriend was complaining of a scorpion sting on his leg. I told him to stop whining and get over it. Later, as I went to sleep, I felt a sharp pain in my arm. As I flipped on the light, I saw a scorpion crawling over the blankets. Now my entire arm is numb and I can't stop crying.
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FML
Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives.
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